My Dream House: More Than a Dream

I always wanted a house. It was my sweet dream, like it is for many people. In our society, a house is seen as the ultimate benchmark of success: the bigger the house, the more prosperous you are believed to be. But is that really true? Can the size and appearance of your house truly measure your wealth? We often see only the surface, valuing material accomplishments. But what if there’s more? How do we measure happiness, quality of life, or success? Perhaps we should look deeper to see the hidden dimensions of fulfillment.

For years, I dreamed of owning a house. Like a blindfolded person, I focused on it without questioning why. I never thought about the location, layout, or design. I just wanted a house. Why? Maybe because, since childhood, I heard my parents talk about building a house (they never did). I didn’t want a mansion—the bigger the house, the more mess to clean up, right? But I wanted more space from my kids, and for them to have space from each other. So, while I had a place to live, I also had a dream. Until one day, I actually thought about it.

During a recent trip to Poland, I had to spend five days in Warsaw. A relative offered us one of her houses just outside the city. It was newly built and still unoccupied. We accepted the offer.

The house was perfect. When I walked in, I could smell the polished wood floors. The hallway led to an open living room, dining room, and kitchen—a grand-royal dance floor where I could glide between the counters. Warm light spilled into the space through enormous windows. In the living room, Victorian windows with elegantly folded beige curtains overlooked the backyard. The stairs led to four bedrooms upstairs. Then there was the attic—the coziest space in the house, filled with the owner’s musical instruments and boxes of books. It was small, with slightly slanted walls to accommodate the roof, yet warm and inviting. Golden sunlight spilled into both rooms through small skylights. I immediately thought about sipping warm tea on a cold winter evening.

The next morning, I got up at dawn. The world was still asleep. I quietly made a cup of coffee and stepped outside onto the wooden deck. The air was cold, moist, and refreshing. A thin fog sat on the soft grass like a carpet out of a Shakespearean play. The sun was rising behind the hill. I took a few lazy steps and soaked my bare feet in the dew-covered grass. You don’t get that in LA. It was peaceful and quiet, but not silent. A few birds kept me company from a distance. I wished my kids were there to see it, but I didn’t want to wake them. I sat on a chair and enjoyed the magnificent morning. The cold was getting to me, but strangely, I didn’t mind. I curled my legs, hugged my knees, and had another sip of hot coffee. That was enough to keep me warm.

As I sat there, I thought about the amazing house and the gorgeous view. This was a perfect house—ideal size—just what I wanted without realizing it. I was literally living in my dream! Just a few miles away from a big city. What else could I want?

Yet something was missing. I thought of my tiny, cluttered apartment in Glendale, and morning visits to Panera. It had been many days since my last workout—I missed my gyms. I thought of my people. Instinctively, I picked up my phone and texted my friend, “Greetings from Poland.” She immediately replied, “Please, come back soon, we miss you.” My heart jumped. I hadn’t realized how close we had gotten over the past few months. I missed them too. Here I was, about 100 miles away from my parents and brother— my immediate family. Yet, I missed my friends. Pathetic, I thought. But my mother hadn’t called me in years—not once—to ask about the kids. Yet, she’s my mom, and I love her. She had a heart attack over a year ago and I had been looking forward to seeing her since. Now, when I am finally here, I couldn’t wait to go back home! I missed those tiny glimpses of my boring everyday life I disliked so much! But somehow, this is the world I have built for myself. I could do little things I enjoyed, even for a few minutes. This beautiful house I was in was far away from everything. No gym within walking distance, no coffee shop to work at, and definitely too far from friends and the beach!

A dream house is just that—a dream. It’s an illusion and distraction that blurs our present. While it’s important to have dreams and pursue them, it is far from living in the moment. My dream house was an idea I loved in my head. However, reality has both sides. Unfortunately, in our dreams, we only see the positive. And that is not real.

I still want a house, but I now see it through the prism of life, bending my perspective on its value. The dream house is just one color of the dispersed light, while the other colors represent the many aspects of life. If you focus only on one color, you miss out on the beautiful rainbow effect. So, cherish the things that truly matter and bring meaning. Make each smile count because, after all, the tiny moments make up our life, just like many colors make up the rainbow. Value those moments and remember them. After all, true prosperity is measured not by the size of our homes but by the richness of our lives and the memories we create.

Love Dilemma: A dispute between Heart, Brain, Logic, and Instincts


Marry the one you love,” said the heart confidently. “If you listen to me, then you will know who and when.”
No,” said the brain. “Your heart is deceitful. Marry the person that is right for you.”
How do you know who is right?” I asked.
The right man is a good man. He treats you well and will take care of you. You will have a good life with him,” assured the brain.
But what about love?” I asked the brain.
Love is an abstract concept, undefined,” answered the brain. “It can be learned through years of mutual respect and understanding. This path provides stability and security, which are essential for a long-lasting relationship.”
What about passion, the intense feelings that make my heart race, and the sensuality that brings us closer?” I asked curiously.
Do what’s right for you. Feelings are deceptive,” reassured the brain. “Passion and sensuality can fade, but mutual respect and understanding grow stronger over time.”
How do I know what’s right and what’s deceptive?” I asked, confused.
The brain did not answer.

Let me ask my guts,” I said, seeking clarity.
Marry the one you love, my dear,” said Guts. “You can’t learn love; you have to feel it. If you follow my guidance, you’ll know deep inside it’s not deceptive. Following your heart brings happiness, joy, and deep emotional fulfillment, making life more meaningful.”
Guts, but what if he doesn’t love me?”
There is nothing you can do about his feelings,” Guts said gently. “If you love him but he doesn’t love you back, it will break your heart. Are you ready to take this risk, my dear?”
So I asked my heart, “Are you ready to be broken?” but my heart remained silent.
Then I asked my brain, “Can a life without love still be happy?” but my brain gave no response.
I don’t know what to do!” I cried in despair.

Then Guts continued, “If you listen to your brain, it’s a wise decision, but your heart will be empty. Stability and security come with this choice, but you might feel unfulfilled. If you listen to your heart, then you might get hurt. Love and passion bring joy but also vulnerability. But if you go with what I tell you, you’ll find a balance between emotion and logic, guiding you towards what feels fundamentally right.
Guts went on to say, “Listen to your heart’s calling. Consulting your brain means marrying for reasons other than love. Ultimately, the decision is yours. Trust your intuition to balance both perspectives.”

© WolverineLily

I did not follow my guts. Now, I find myself at a crossroads, wondering if the path I chose was truly the one meant for me. The puzzle of love, logic, and instinct continues to shape my journey, a riddle we all face regardless of gender. We make mistakes, our choices sometimes lead to heartbreak, or things turn out differently than we expected. Yet, we search and follow love again. These internal battles and the lessons we learn from them make us more empathetic and wise. Ultimately, if you choose logic, you may find yourself longing for love, as I am now. When children come into the picture, it can be difficult to turn things around, but these experiences further enrich our understanding and meaning of love.

❤️

Would you rather be Pretty or Ugly: Unveiling Society’s Dichotomy

Have you ever come across the saying, “Pretty girls have it easier in life”?

Pretty girls seem to breeze through life, dodging traffic tickets, catching the eyes of admirers, and effortlessly securing drinks at bars. But what about the flip side? The not-so-pretty girls face a different reality. They become targets for bullies, often finding themselves disliked or disregarded. Their situation worsens if they wear glasses, opt for no makeup, or dress in unstylish clothes. Some of them shrink into themselves in the presence of pretty girls, feeling intimidated and staying quiet, hoping to blend into the background, unnoticed.

However, there’s another stereotype lurking in the shadows: the notion that pretty girls lack brains. With this stereotype, pretty girls are unfairly deemed as shallow or unintelligent. If they have blonde hair, the stereotype exacerbates, branding them as brain-dead. At work, pretty girls find themselves constantly scrutinized, as if everyone expects them to slip up. The tiniest flaw is magnified, seized upon as an opportunity to label them.

Yet, if you want a date then ask “that pretty girl.” In this scenario, going out with an attractive girl scores big. Also, Instagram favors pretty girls over intellectuals; girls in bikinis (or nude) tend to have way more followers than accomplished female scientists.

Therefore, which girl has more opportunities? Who has a better chance to meet Mr. Right? Who has it easier?

As I see it, the average person has the sweet spot. A girl must not be too pretty or too ugly because being very pretty intimidates while being too ugly repels. If you fall on either side of these extremes, you are likely – screwed!

Similarly, who has it better in school settings: the genius or the struggling student? Exceptionally smart kids and kids who struggle don’t blend in with others, and both are ideal targets for bullies because they are either too smart or not smart enough to fit in. Indeed, no matter where you are, how you look, or what industry or environment you find yourself in… the average person will fit in best because they do not “stick out.” If you are better than others in any category, you are likely discriminated against because of your exceptional abilities. This hatred is motivated by jealousy and fear. If you, however, fall behind others, then you are considered inept, unsuitable, and incompatible.

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To thrive in today’s society, one cannot stand out in any category. If one falls on either side of the spectrum, whatever it is (smart or not, rich or poor, talented or not, hardworking or lazy, etc.), then he or she will face injustice.

Finally, would you rather be fit or fat? Who has it easier in life? Boy, I can tell you that I have seen it all! Ultimately, it boils down to feeling comfortable in your own skin, whether that means being fit or not. However, as a fitness advocate, I should encourage people to get fit. Stay on the fitter side but without falling into the extreme end of fitness, and here is why. The fitter I get, the fewer people talk to me in a gym. Fitter = less approachable. Perhaps, intimidation factors in? It sure can be difficult to make friends in a gym. Talking may be mistakenly perceived as “hitting” on others. It’s a fine line to walk, especially for single individuals who actually want to meet someone. On the other hand, having fewer acquaintances in a gym means less socializing and, therefore, less distraction and more time to work out. Bottomline: if you choose to get fit, or have a specific objective in mind, then surround yourself with people who support you and your goals.

So, the question lingers: who do you think has it easier in life? Pretty or ugly, or fit or fat?