self-care – Wolverine Lily

Evanescent Breath of Time

Amidst the warmth of a golden day,
Reality alighted on my shoulders.
Its big eyes pierced through mine,
Penetrating the deepest cellar of my soul;

Time’s relentless run paused—for a beat.
I sat on my paddleboard,
Soft waves caressing it tenderly, like a lullaby.
I drifted…
Enveloped by a floating magic carpet of infinite blue…

I marveled at the sunlight’s delicate strokes,
Feathering the crests of waves.
All calm as it was blue;
Infinite, linear, and placid.

In this evanescent flash,
Time stretched for breaths,
In slow, harmonic sways,
While birds above
Soared as freely as my thoughts.

I surrendered my worries,
Opening the door to joy and gratitude,
Their bold entrance filling my heart
With peace and serenity.

I spread my fragile, ethereal wings
And released my spirit to rise high,
Beyond enchanted realms,
Surpassing all earthly bliss.
Just for a moment…
For this is short-lived contentment.

In that ephemeral flight, the wind’s whisper
Reminded me of reality awaiting my return.

Like a brief summer breeze,
Life passes swiftly;
Our precious time is fleeting
— a spark in the shadow of eternity.

Soon, we’ll drown
In the endless night of forever-darkness.
Like a rock plummeting into the deepest canyon,
We’ll become a hollow thud—
A forgotten echo in numbed stillness.
Every memory of us disintegrating,
Into grains in dust scattered by the wind.

Can’t Fake Happy Moments

Have you noticed that you can’t fake having a great time? Think about those photos from your happiest moments—genuine joy always shines through, right? You wouldn’t be snapping pictures if you weren’t truly enjoying yourself. Even selfies meant to show off on social media are usually taken in fantastic places or during significant events. This weekend, I experienced something that profoundly clarified this for me. As I looked at some pictures, I perceived more than just sincere smiles. I uncovered something unexpected and deeply revealing about capturing genuine happiness.

On Saturday, I went to a friend’s birthday party. For the first time in a long while, it wasn’t a kid’s party! I mean a real grown-up party! It was a small gathering of a few close friends and their children. The kids played inside a big house while the parents sat outside on the patio, overlooking the beautiful San Fernando Valley. The sun was shining brightly, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of desert flowers, making it a perfect June afternoon.

As we cracked jokes, sipped our drinks, and relaxed, we noticed the sun beginning to set. It seemed like the ideal time to watch it from the surrounding secluded rocky-desert landscape. We decided to go for a short hike around the property. The lone-standing house was at the top of a mountain with no neighbors nearby. The air was crisp, and our giggles echoed in the vast, open space. As we ventured out to watch the beautiful sunset, we climbed some rocks and snapped a lot of amazing photos. There were more jokes and lots of laughter.

Today, I looked at the photos, and surprisingly, almost all of them turned out great! Even the group photos show big smiles, lots of teeth, and glowing eyes! I was amazed by how genuinely happy everyone looked. There was no major posing; the photos captured spontaneous moments of delight. It was exceptionally wonderful! I realized that genuine happiness is unforced and naturally caught in moments of joy. It cannot be fabricated! It is evident in natural, unrehearsed expressions and interactions.

Reflecting on these moments, I recognize their preciousness. In a world where so much can feel staged and superficial, it’s the authentic experiences that truly matter. Our photos are not just images; they are memories of laughter, connection, and real fun—not meant to show off or impress anyone. They remind me that the best moments in life are often the simplest, shared with those we care about most. They allow to appreciate the value of spontaneous joy and genuine connections. Don’t let these moments slip away. Recognize and cherish them, for they serve as luminous lighthouses radiating strong and bright in our ordinary, sometimes dark days—the true highlights of our lives. Sometimes the simplest and ordinary points in time are the most amazing ones!

The Fiery Eyes Piercing the Night

I know why you left me, Mom.
I didn’t understand it then. How could I?
I was so young, a fragile leaf
tossed in a hurricane.

I still remember you standing
in that dim hallway,
determined to leave.
I heard the hollow echo as you opened the door,
but before it slammed shut,
the Beast crept in,
filling the emptiness with shadows.

That night, sleep eluded me.
I imagined you soaring through the sky,
chasing your freedom
like a ravenous bird after its prey.
Trapped in the darkness, I cried,
motionless, a girl clenching her fists.
The Beast watched me;
its big, fiery eyes piercing the night.
I was terrified.
But nobody was there to witness my horror.

For years, I begged you to come back,
but you never did;
and I never tamed the Beast.
It lingered, a constant reminder
of the void you left behind.

Three decades have passed,
and the Beast still remains.
I’ve grown used to its presence,
accepting that I can’t fight it.
I’ve built walls around myself,
so tall that only God in Heaven can see the true reflection of me.

But one day, someone will come,
and the Beast will be gone.
My heart knows it,
awaiting the day of liberation.

I’m no longer angry at you.
I’ve come to understand your struggle,
though I never heard you say plainly, “I love you.”
Maybe you never did.
You must have had your reasons.

But I can’t carry your pain for you anymore.
It crushes me.
I need to let it go.

Nevertheless, I love you. I always have.
My heart’s been beating with so much love
that I can’t feel otherwise.
I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy,
but it’s time for me to find my own peace.