relationship – Page 2 – Wolverine Lily

Love Dilemma: A dispute between Heart, Brain, Logic, and Instincts

“Marry the one you love,” said the heart confidently. “If you listen to me, then you will know who and when.”
“No,” said the brain. “Your heart is deceitful. Marry the person that is right for you.”
“How do you know who is right?” I asked.
“The right man is a good man. He treats you well and will take care of you. You will have a good life with him,” assured the brain.
“But what about love?” I asked the brain.
“Love is an abstract concept, undefined,” answered the brain. “It can be learned through years of mutual respect and understanding. This path provides stability and security, which are essential for a long-lasting relationship.”
“What about passion, the intense feelings that make my heart race, and the sensuality that brings us closer?” I asked curiously.
“Do what’s right for you. Feelings are deceptive,” reassured the brain. “Passion and sensuality can fade, but mutual respect and understanding grow stronger over time.”
“How do I know what’s right and what’s deceptive?” I asked, confused.
The brain did not answer.

“Let me ask my guts,” I said, seeking clarity.
“Marry the one you love, my dear,” said Guts. “You can’t learn love; you have to feel it. If you follow my guidance, you’ll know deep inside it’s not deceptive. Following your heart brings happiness, joy, and deep emotional fulfillment, making life more meaningful.”
“Guts, but what if he doesn’t love me?”
“There is nothing you can do about his feelings,” Guts said gently. “If you love him but he doesn’t love you back, it will break your heart. Are you ready to take this risk, my dear?”
So I asked my heart, “Are you ready to be broken?” but my heart remained silent.
Then I asked my brain, “Can a life without love still be happy?” but my brain gave no response.
“I don’t know what to do!” I cried in despair.

Then Guts continued, “If you listen to your brain, it’s a wise decision, but your heart will be empty. Stability and security come with this choice, but you might feel unfulfilled. If you listen to your heart, then you might get hurt. Love and passion bring joy but also vulnerability. But if you go with what I tell you, you’ll find a balance between emotion and logic, guiding you towards what feels fundamentally right.”
Guts went on to say, “Listen to your heart’s calling. Consulting your brain means marrying for reasons other than love. Ultimately, the decision is yours. Trust your intuition to balance both perspectives.”

I did not follow my guts. Now, I find myself at a crossroads, wondering if the path I chose was truly the one meant for me. The puzzle of love, logic, and instinct continues to shape my journey, a riddle we all face regardless of gender. We make mistakes, our choices sometimes lead to heartbreak, or things turn out differently than we expected. Yet, we search and follow love again. These internal battles and the lessons we learn from them make us more empathetic and wise. Ultimately, if you choose logic, you may find yourself longing for love, as I am now. When children come into the picture, it can be difficult to turn things around, but these experiences further enrich our understanding and meaning of love.

❤️

A Fading Heartbeat

I can no longer stay,
For my heart’s simplest needs—
A touch,
or warm affection—
Are blighted by your frigid indifference.

Like a leaf wilting in the frost,
I am filled with despair,
Lost in the shadow of your frivolous desires.

In this house,
I’m invisible,
A ghost imprisoned within these walls,
My voice echoes in silence, unheard.

I only serve—
But the slightest hint of love and affection
is elusive and distant
for years.

Yet my heart still beats faintly,
Nurturing a fragile seed of hope
For someone,
A flickering ember in the dark,
A touch to reignite its fire,
A whisper to breathe life into its purpose,
And fulfill its deepest yearning.

Other Blue

My favorite color is Blue,
Yet not any shade of blue,

It resembles the color of the serene ocean on a sunny day,
Though not as deep in its display.

It’s closer to Caribbean waters,
Yet with fewer green undertones.

I’m particular about this Blue,
Exceptional and pure,
It’s my favorite and beloved hue!
Though, it’s my Blue!

Your eyes aren’t blue.
Thank goodness, for fewer reminders of you!

Yet, they are amazing.
I secretly long to see them again,
I’d look a little longer if you’d let me.

Since you’ve been gone, I feel blue;
But not like my beloved blue,
It’s more akin to navy blue.
A dark, cold, and lonely hue.

Torn on the inside, I gaze at the sky,
Where wispy clouds glide against its blue,
Drifting through an imperfect, yet tranquil hue.

I miss you.

How to Determine if She’s Single: A Gentleman’s Guide

Imagine this: you’re at a cozy coffee shop, exchanging glances with an intriguing stranger. There is something about her—the way she smiles into her book or holds her mug— that quickens your pulse. Tempted to approach, you hesitate… There is one burning question holding you back: is she available?

Not long ago, a guy in a gym approached me with an intrusive yet direct question: “So, are you single?” Although I admired his boldness, I must admit that given our previously limited interaction, the abrupt bluntness of his question caught me off guard. At the same time, it made me wonder, “Could there have been a better, perhaps more accurate, way to approach this?” Indeed, there might be a more nuanced strategy worth considering. So, how should one investigate a girl’s relationship status in a respectful manner? Let’s delve into that.

First and foremost, asking such a personal question directly signals your interest in her. Is that truly your intention? While showing interest is perfectly fine, it’s often better to establish some level of acquaintance first. Avoid diving into personal questions too quickly; if she finds you approachable or attractive, you already have an advantage. She will be more likely to engage openly in conversation. However, if she perceives you as unappealing, if she’s shy, or simply lost in her thoughts—as I often am—a subtler approach is advisable. Start by establishing a basic connection; exchange a few sentences to ensure she doesn’t feel threatened or intimidated. If you immediately start with personal inquiries, she might think you are only after one thing. If a more meaningful relationship is what you’re after, taking the time to get to know each other—even through a brief conversation—can naturally lead to discovering shared interests and, perhaps, whether she is interested in you too.

Next, don’t assume she will truthfully answer your questions just because you asked sincerely—it’s always a gamble. Even if she is unattached, she might dodge the “are you single” question to maintain boundaries and, sadly, get rid of you! Don’t cut yourself off prematurely. Engage in a little chat, listen attentively, and observe subtle cues. Some women may casually mention their relationship status during discussions. Others like to boast about their boyfriends, signaling disinterest in other guys. Be attentive, and you might glean valuable insights about her life and preferences. Also, be cautious and don’t overwhelm her with too many personal questions. I hate that! It’s so invasive! I believe most girls would agree with me, so it’s wise to limit yourself to one or two questions per encounter.

Another scenario to consider: What if she’s in a “crappy” relationship? What if her saying, “I am not single,” doesn’t tell the whole story? She might be somewhat “tied” to someone but physically and emotionally disconnected, perhaps awaiting a way out. In that case, you, dear reader, might unwittingly become her ticket out! But be careful; you could end up being just a “rebound guy.”

Men often step back when they discover a woman is taken. I find it classy and respectful. However, let’s not assume all relationships are strong and fulfilling. Many women find themselves in relationships that aren’t harmful but are far from healthy or ideal so, it’s not always urgent to leave. See what I mean? It’s impossible to break something that’s already broken. Rather than disrupting, you could play a constructive role in a relationship that’s already unstable or dysfunctional.

Ultimately, if your feelings for a girl are genuine, why not pursue them? If your heart or gut, tells you there is something there, then why not explore it further? It may be worth the risk. Stop anticipating and chewing on your fingernails. Make a move! Girls appreciate confidence in a partner! I, for one, value assertiveness and support. Don’t give up too easily; let her get to know you. Show her your authentic self over time, and allow the connection to develop naturally. Don’t be embarrassed to show your vulnerability—it isn’t weakness; it’s a sign of humanity. Girls like to feel needed too, so let us take care of you. Let her see that you’re willing to invest in something meaningful.

I believe that a strong and healthy relationship can withstand any challenges. If a girl (or a guy for that matter) is truly committed, nothing can break that bond.

But, what if she is absolutely not interested? Then you thank her for her time and move on. Remember, you do not know her feelings and intentions until she clearly and unequivocally communicates them to you. Don’t make incorrect assumptions. Nonetheless, if she says “no,” you will still live, and you will be just fine.

In summary, if you feel compelled to ask about relationship status, do so with tact and respect for her boundaries. Rather than a blunt “Are you single?” consider a more delicate approach. You could express interest in getting to know her better and ask if she’s open to meeting up sometime. This approach not only allows for a more natural progression of the conversation but also demonstrates your genuine interest in her as a person, regardless of her relationship status.

Returning to my story, can you guess how I responded to the guy? If you get it right, I’ll buy you a coffee! 😉