howto – Wolverine Lily

Can’t Fake Happy Moments

Have you noticed that you can’t fake having a great time? Think about those photos from your happiest moments—genuine joy always shines through, right? You wouldn’t be snapping pictures if you weren’t truly enjoying yourself. Even selfies meant to show off on social media are usually taken in fantastic places or during significant events. This weekend, I experienced something that profoundly clarified this for me. As I looked at some pictures, I perceived more than just sincere smiles. I uncovered something unexpected and deeply revealing about capturing genuine happiness.

On Saturday, I went to a friend’s birthday party. For the first time in a long while, it wasn’t a kid’s party! I mean a real grown-up party! It was a small gathering of a few close friends and their children. The kids played inside a big house while the parents sat outside on the patio, overlooking the beautiful San Fernando Valley. The sun was shining brightly, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of desert flowers, making it a perfect June afternoon.

As we cracked jokes, sipped our drinks, and relaxed, we noticed the sun beginning to set. It seemed like the ideal time to watch it from the surrounding secluded rocky-desert landscape. We decided to go for a short hike around the property. The lone-standing house was at the top of a mountain with no neighbors nearby. The air was crisp, and our giggles echoed in the vast, open space. As we ventured out to watch the beautiful sunset, we climbed some rocks and snapped a lot of amazing photos. There were more jokes and lots of laughter.

Today, I looked at the photos, and surprisingly, almost all of them turned out great! Even the group photos show big smiles, lots of teeth, and glowing eyes! I was amazed by how genuinely happy everyone looked. There was no major posing; the photos captured spontaneous moments of delight. It was exceptionally wonderful! I realized that genuine happiness is unforced and naturally caught in moments of joy. It cannot be fabricated! It is evident in natural, unrehearsed expressions and interactions.

Reflecting on these moments, I recognize their preciousness. In a world where so much can feel staged and superficial, it’s the authentic experiences that truly matter. Our photos are not just images; they are memories of laughter, connection, and real fun—not meant to show off or impress anyone. They remind me that the best moments in life are often the simplest, shared with those we care about most. They allow to appreciate the value of spontaneous joy and genuine connections. Don’t let these moments slip away. Recognize and cherish them, for they serve as luminous lighthouses radiating strong and bright in our ordinary, sometimes dark days—the true highlights of our lives. Sometimes the simplest and ordinary points in time are the most amazing ones!

Resilient Dances of Leaves

Our lives are like the rain falling from the sky,
Sometimes gentle, like a whisper—an unnoticed sigh.
A light rain on a warm day, no big deal,
Just a kiss from the heavens—a bliss to feel.

A single drop on a leaf, a sweet graceful dance,
It slides to the tip, then takes its chance.
As it dives to the ground, the leaf bounces back,
A tranquil scene—a peaceful act.

Yet when the rain pours, in torrents and sheets,
The leaf takes the blows, withstanding the beats.
It’s under attack from raindrop-heavy punches,
Just like we face challenges in unpredictable bunches.

But the rain pounds harder when the storms rage,
Life’s troubles cascade, taking over the whole stage.
People like leaves, caught in the fray,
Fighting like raindrops on a stormy day.

And then comes the hurricane, wild and free,
Ripping apart the tallest tree!
Life’s greatest storms, we cannot predict,
They tear through our lives, leaving us kicked.

We cannot control the weather and the rain,
Just like life’s joys and moments of pain.
But we can stand firm, like the leaf on the tree,
Bouncing back after each drop, strong and free.

Yet, rainbows emerge, vibrant and bright,
Everyone points with pure delight.
A promise of beauty after the rain,
A reminder of joy after moments of pain.

For every storm that shakes the ground,
There’s a magical rainbow waiting to be found.
In the dance of the rain, in the calm and the strife,
We find the essence, the beauty of life.

Love Dilemma: A dispute between Heart, Brain, Logic, and Instincts

“Marry the one you love,” said the heart confidently. “If you listen to me, then you will know who and when.”
“No,” said the brain. “Your heart is deceitful. Marry the person that is right for you.”
“How do you know who is right?” I asked.
“The right man is a good man. He treats you well and will take care of you. You will have a good life with him,” assured the brain.
“But what about love?” I asked the brain.
“Love is an abstract concept, undefined,” answered the brain. “It can be learned through years of mutual respect and understanding. This path provides stability and security, which are essential for a long-lasting relationship.”
“What about passion, the intense feelings that make my heart race, and the sensuality that brings us closer?” I asked curiously.
“Do what’s right for you. Feelings are deceptive,” reassured the brain. “Passion and sensuality can fade, but mutual respect and understanding grow stronger over time.”
“How do I know what’s right and what’s deceptive?” I asked, confused.
The brain did not answer.

“Let me ask my guts,” I said, seeking clarity.
“Marry the one you love, my dear,” said Guts. “You can’t learn love; you have to feel it. If you follow my guidance, you’ll know deep inside it’s not deceptive. Following your heart brings happiness, joy, and deep emotional fulfillment, making life more meaningful.”
“Guts, but what if he doesn’t love me?”
“There is nothing you can do about his feelings,” Guts said gently. “If you love him but he doesn’t love you back, it will break your heart. Are you ready to take this risk, my dear?”
So I asked my heart, “Are you ready to be broken?” but my heart remained silent.
Then I asked my brain, “Can a life without love still be happy?” but my brain gave no response.
“I don’t know what to do!” I cried in despair.

Then Guts continued, “If you listen to your brain, it’s a wise decision, but your heart will be empty. Stability and security come with this choice, but you might feel unfulfilled. If you listen to your heart, then you might get hurt. Love and passion bring joy but also vulnerability. But if you go with what I tell you, you’ll find a balance between emotion and logic, guiding you towards what feels fundamentally right.”
Guts went on to say, “Listen to your heart’s calling. Consulting your brain means marrying for reasons other than love. Ultimately, the decision is yours. Trust your intuition to balance both perspectives.”

I did not follow my guts. Now, I find myself at a crossroads, wondering if the path I chose was truly the one meant for me. The puzzle of love, logic, and instinct continues to shape my journey, a riddle we all face regardless of gender. We make mistakes, our choices sometimes lead to heartbreak, or things turn out differently than we expected. Yet, we search and follow love again. These internal battles and the lessons we learn from them make us more empathetic and wise. Ultimately, if you choose logic, you may find yourself longing for love, as I am now. When children come into the picture, it can be difficult to turn things around, but these experiences further enrich our understanding and meaning of love.

❤️

How to Determine if She’s Single: A Gentleman’s Guide

Imagine this: you’re at a cozy coffee shop, exchanging glances with an intriguing stranger. There is something about her—the way she smiles into her book or holds her mug— that quickens your pulse. Tempted to approach, you hesitate… There is one burning question holding you back: is she available?

Not long ago, a guy in a gym approached me with an intrusive yet direct question: “So, are you single?” Although I admired his boldness, I must admit that given our previously limited interaction, the abrupt bluntness of his question caught me off guard. At the same time, it made me wonder, “Could there have been a better, perhaps more accurate, way to approach this?” Indeed, there might be a more nuanced strategy worth considering. So, how should one investigate a girl’s relationship status in a respectful manner? Let’s delve into that.

First and foremost, asking such a personal question directly signals your interest in her. Is that truly your intention? While showing interest is perfectly fine, it’s often better to establish some level of acquaintance first. Avoid diving into personal questions too quickly; if she finds you approachable or attractive, you already have an advantage. She will be more likely to engage openly in conversation. However, if she perceives you as unappealing, if she’s shy, or simply lost in her thoughts—as I often am—a subtler approach is advisable. Start by establishing a basic connection; exchange a few sentences to ensure she doesn’t feel threatened or intimidated. If you immediately start with personal inquiries, she might think you are only after one thing. If a more meaningful relationship is what you’re after, taking the time to get to know each other—even through a brief conversation—can naturally lead to discovering shared interests and, perhaps, whether she is interested in you too.

Next, don’t assume she will truthfully answer your questions just because you asked sincerely—it’s always a gamble. Even if she is unattached, she might dodge the “are you single” question to maintain boundaries and, sadly, get rid of you! Don’t cut yourself off prematurely. Engage in a little chat, listen attentively, and observe subtle cues. Some women may casually mention their relationship status during discussions. Others like to boast about their boyfriends, signaling disinterest in other guys. Be attentive, and you might glean valuable insights about her life and preferences. Also, be cautious and don’t overwhelm her with too many personal questions. I hate that! It’s so invasive! I believe most girls would agree with me, so it’s wise to limit yourself to one or two questions per encounter.

Another scenario to consider: What if she’s in a “crappy” relationship? What if her saying, “I am not single,” doesn’t tell the whole story? She might be somewhat “tied” to someone but physically and emotionally disconnected, perhaps awaiting a way out. In that case, you, dear reader, might unwittingly become her ticket out! But be careful; you could end up being just a “rebound guy.”

Men often step back when they discover a woman is taken. I find it classy and respectful. However, let’s not assume all relationships are strong and fulfilling. Many women find themselves in relationships that aren’t harmful but are far from healthy or ideal so, it’s not always urgent to leave. See what I mean? It’s impossible to break something that’s already broken. Rather than disrupting, you could play a constructive role in a relationship that’s already unstable or dysfunctional.

Ultimately, if your feelings for a girl are genuine, why not pursue them? If your heart or gut, tells you there is something there, then why not explore it further? It may be worth the risk. Stop anticipating and chewing on your fingernails. Make a move! Girls appreciate confidence in a partner! I, for one, value assertiveness and support. Don’t give up too easily; let her get to know you. Show her your authentic self over time, and allow the connection to develop naturally. Don’t be embarrassed to show your vulnerability—it isn’t weakness; it’s a sign of humanity. Girls like to feel needed too, so let us take care of you. Let her see that you’re willing to invest in something meaningful.

I believe that a strong and healthy relationship can withstand any challenges. If a girl (or a guy for that matter) is truly committed, nothing can break that bond.

But, what if she is absolutely not interested? Then you thank her for her time and move on. Remember, you do not know her feelings and intentions until she clearly and unequivocally communicates them to you. Don’t make incorrect assumptions. Nonetheless, if she says “no,” you will still live, and you will be just fine.

In summary, if you feel compelled to ask about relationship status, do so with tact and respect for her boundaries. Rather than a blunt “Are you single?” consider a more delicate approach. You could express interest in getting to know her better and ask if she’s open to meeting up sometime. This approach not only allows for a more natural progression of the conversation but also demonstrates your genuine interest in her as a person, regardless of her relationship status.

Returning to my story, can you guess how I responded to the guy? If you get it right, I’ll buy you a coffee! 😉