Reflections – Wolverine Lily

Broken Wing and the Middle Finger

“Hello,” I answered, shutting the trunk of my car.
“I think Nellie broke her arm. She fell from a structure on a playground, and she can’t stop crying. Where are you?” he asked, urgency spilling through the phone.

In the background, I heard my daughter screaming at full volume. It was the most devastating roar I’d ever heard from her—deep and loud, like a whale, but screechier. I felt a sudden rush of heat, as if someone had poured boiling water over my head.

Damn. She’s hurt, I thought, starting the engine. I gripped the wheel tight and took off.

“I’m in the car. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” I forced the words out through my tightening throat.
“We’re waiting for an ambulance,” he said, his tone mirroring mine. “Hurry,” he added, and hung up.

My heart was pounding. I accelerated, but soon got trapped behind an old lady driving fifteen miles per hour in a thirty-five zone. I followed her while Nellie’s cry echoed in my head, louder than the speakers in the doors. How badly is she injured? What if she fell on her head?

For a few blocks, my thoughts raced at the speed of light, while my car crawled like a turtle. I was tempted to honk, but this lady probably was too old to hear it anyway. My frustration boiled inside until Granny stopped at a red light, nearly rear-ending a white Mercedes. I swerved to the right lane, hoping to pass both cars when the light changed.
A few long seconds later, I finally got the green. I hit the gas like I was auditioning for Fast & Furious—minus the fancy car.

I looked into the mirror to see if I had enough distance to change lanes, but then I saw… a hairy arm and a middle finger coming out of a white Mercedes! Like a reversed palm tree flipping me off from the jungle of traffic. I tried to ignore the gesture. My daughter’s screams still resonated in my head so, surely, I could not care less about an asshole in a Mercedes. Yet, I was pissed. Pissed and frantic.

I wanted to be with my daughter. Shit. I was pushing past fifty! A speeding ticket now would kill me. No way, I couldn’t afford to lose a second.

I stopped at a red light and saw the white Mercedes slide up to my right. No more palm trees waving. He must’ve thought he’d lost the race to a blonde chick in a dusty Subaru, now idling for a rematch. Then the window began to roll down, revealing Mr. Asshole with dark shades and an even darker attitude.

He shook his head, adjusting his flashy glasses (or just showing them off in the most ostentatious way), looked at me, and spoke: “You couldn’t wait, could you?”
Wait for what? I thought. But I hadn’t said anything—not for another three seconds.

Then I took a long breath and said two precise sentences, both of which would’ve made my mother gasp and a pirate proud.

I watched his jaw drop, the black stubble blending into his black T-shirt.

I stared at him for a moment. Still. Then winked.
“Nice talking to you. Drive carefully.” The light changed and I drove off, leaving behind a faint, fading ‘Oh, uh…’

When I finally got there, I saw an ambulance driving off. Red lights flashing, siren wailing. My stomach turned.

I followed them to the hospital. Doctors confirmed: My angel broke her wing.

Author’s Note:
This happened a few years ago, on Max’s birthday. One I’ll never forget. 🙂

Hunter’s Moon: Phases in Life

I’ve always felt drawn to full moons. My grandma used to call me a child of the night, and I guess she was right. Last night’s Hunter’s Moon felt especially mystical, barely visible through the folding LA clouds, like the closing of a chapter. We all move through phases in life—sometimes we shine brightly, and other times we retreat into stillness, reflecting. At least, some of us do.

I used to love running at night under the full moon. Its silvery glow lit up my feet and the quiet streets, and I was captivated by it. But one night, I got hit by a car, and… well, that put an end to those midnight runs. Afterward, I embraced walks with their quiet wisdom, listening to what the night had to offer instead of sweating through it. You can spot me in the neighborhood, collecting my thoughts, often sipping hot tea. It’s the closest I get to meditation. The quiet has its own way of sparking ideas, doesn’t it?

No matter where you are, take a moment to look up. You might catch a glimpse between the clouds—maybe a thought, or even an answer to something that’s been resting heavy on your heart. These are moments meant for reflection. And dream.

Can’t Fake Happy Moments

Have you noticed that you can’t fake having a great time? Think about those photos from your happiest moments—genuine joy always shines through, right? You wouldn’t be snapping pictures if you weren’t truly enjoying yourself. Even selfies meant to show off on social media are usually taken in fantastic places or during significant events. This weekend, I experienced something that profoundly clarified this for me. As I looked at some pictures, I perceived more than just sincere smiles. I uncovered something unexpected and deeply revealing about capturing genuine happiness.

On Saturday, I went to a friend’s birthday party. For the first time in a long while, it wasn’t a kid’s party! I mean a real grown-up party! It was a small gathering of a few close friends and their children. The kids played inside a big house while the parents sat outside on the patio, overlooking the beautiful San Fernando Valley. The sun was shining brightly, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of desert flowers, making it a perfect June afternoon.

As we cracked jokes, sipped our drinks, and relaxed, we noticed the sun beginning to set. It seemed like the ideal time to watch it from the surrounding secluded rocky-desert landscape. We decided to go for a short hike around the property. The lone-standing house was at the top of a mountain with no neighbors nearby. The air was crisp, and our giggles echoed in the vast, open space. As we ventured out to watch the beautiful sunset, we climbed some rocks and snapped a lot of amazing photos. There were more jokes and lots of laughter.

Today, I looked at the photos, and surprisingly, almost all of them turned out great! Even the group photos show big smiles, lots of teeth, and glowing eyes! I was amazed by how genuinely happy everyone looked. There was no major posing; the photos captured spontaneous moments of delight. It was exceptionally wonderful! I realized that genuine happiness is unforced and naturally caught in moments of joy. It cannot be fabricated! It is evident in natural, unrehearsed expressions and interactions.

Reflecting on these moments, I recognize their preciousness. In a world where so much can feel staged and superficial, it’s the authentic experiences that truly matter. Our photos are not just images; they are memories of laughter, connection, and real fun—not meant to show off or impress anyone. They remind me that the best moments in life are often the simplest, shared with those we care about most. They allow to appreciate the value of spontaneous joy and genuine connections. Don’t let these moments slip away. Recognize and cherish them, for they serve as luminous lighthouses radiating strong and bright in our ordinary, sometimes dark days—the true highlights of our lives. Sometimes the simplest and ordinary points in time are the most amazing ones!

My Dream House: More Than a Dream

I always wanted a house. It was my sweet dream, like it is for many people. In our society, a house is seen as the ultimate benchmark of success: the bigger the house, the more prosperous you are believed to be. But is that really true? Can the size and appearance of your house truly measure your wealth? We often see only the surface, valuing material accomplishments. But what if there’s more? How do we measure happiness, quality of life, or success? Perhaps we should look deeper to see the hidden dimensions of fulfillment.

For years, I dreamed of owning a house. Like a blindfolded person, I focused on it without questioning why. I never thought about the location, layout, or design. I just wanted a house. Why? Maybe because, since childhood, I heard my parents talk about building a house (they never did). I didn’t want a mansion—the bigger the house, the more mess to clean up, right? But I wanted more space from my kids, and for them to have space from each other. So, while I had a place to live, I also had a dream. Until one day, I actually thought about it.

During a recent trip to Poland, I had to spend five days in Warsaw. A relative offered us one of her houses just outside the city. It was newly built and still unoccupied. We accepted the offer.

The house was perfect. When I walked in, I could smell the polished wood floors. The hallway led to an open living room, dining room, and kitchen—a grand-royal dance floor where I could glide between the counters. Warm light spilled into the space through enormous windows. In the living room, Victorian windows with elegantly folded beige curtains overlooked the backyard. The stairs led to four bedrooms upstairs. Then there was the attic—the coziest space in the house, filled with the owner’s musical instruments and boxes of books. It was small, with slightly slanted walls to accommodate the roof, yet warm and inviting. Golden sunlight spilled into both rooms through small skylights. I immediately thought about sipping warm tea on a cold winter evening.

The next morning, I got up at dawn. The world was still asleep. I quietly made a cup of coffee and stepped outside onto the wooden deck. The air was cold, moist, and refreshing. A thin fog sat on the soft grass like a carpet out of a Shakespearean play. The sun was rising behind the hill. I took a few lazy steps and soaked my bare feet in the dew-covered grass. You don’t get that in LA. It was peaceful and quiet, but not silent. A few birds kept me company from a distance. I wished my kids were there to see it, but I didn’t want to wake them. I sat on a chair and enjoyed the magnificent morning. The cold was getting to me, but strangely, I didn’t mind. I curled my legs, hugged my knees, and had another sip of hot coffee. That was enough to keep me warm.

As I sat there, I thought about the amazing house and the gorgeous view. This was a perfect house—ideal size—just what I wanted without realizing it. I was literally living in my dream! Just a few miles away from a big city. What else could I want?

Yet something was missing. I thought of my tiny, cluttered apartment in Glendale, and morning visits to Panera. It had been many days since my last workout—I missed my gyms. I thought of my people. Instinctively, I picked up my phone and texted my friend, “Greetings from Poland.” She immediately replied, “Please, come back soon, we miss you.” My heart jumped. I hadn’t realized how close we had gotten over the past few months. I missed them too. Here I was, about 100 miles away from my parents and brother— my immediate family. Yet, I missed my friends. Pathetic, I thought. But my mother hadn’t called me in years—not once—to ask about the kids. Yet, she’s my mom, and I love her. She had a heart attack over a year ago and I had been looking forward to seeing her since. Now, when I am finally here, I couldn’t wait to go back home! I missed those tiny glimpses of my boring everyday life I disliked so much! But somehow, this is the world I have built for myself. I could do little things I enjoyed, even for a few minutes. This beautiful house I was in was far away from everything. No gym within walking distance, no coffee shop to work at, and definitely too far from friends and the beach!

A dream house is just that—a dream. It’s an illusion and distraction that blurs our present. While it’s important to have dreams and pursue them, it is far from living in the moment. My dream house was an idea I loved in my head. However, reality has both sides. Unfortunately, in our dreams, we only see the positive. And that is not real.

I still want a house, but I now see it through the prism of life, bending my perspective on its value. The dream house is just one color of the dispersed light, while the other colors represent the many aspects of life. If you focus only on one color, you miss out on the beautiful rainbow effect. So, cherish the things that truly matter and bring meaning. Make each smile count because, after all, the tiny moments make up our life, just like many colors make up the rainbow. Value those moments and remember them. After all, true prosperity is measured not by the size of our homes but by the richness of our lives and the memories we create.

Love Dilemma: A dispute between Heart, Brain, Logic, and Instincts

“Marry the one you love,” said the heart confidently. “If you listen to me, then you will know who and when.”
“No,” said the brain. “Your heart is deceitful. Marry the person that is right for you.”
“How do you know who is right?” I asked.
“The right man is a good man. He treats you well and will take care of you. You will have a good life with him,” assured the brain.
“But what about love?” I asked the brain.
“Love is an abstract concept, undefined,” answered the brain. “It can be learned through years of mutual respect and understanding. This path provides stability and security, which are essential for a long-lasting relationship.”
“What about passion, the intense feelings that make my heart race, and the sensuality that brings us closer?” I asked curiously.
“Do what’s right for you. Feelings are deceptive,” reassured the brain. “Passion and sensuality can fade, but mutual respect and understanding grow stronger over time.”
“How do I know what’s right and what’s deceptive?” I asked, confused.
The brain did not answer.

“Let me ask my guts,” I said, seeking clarity.
“Marry the one you love, my dear,” said Guts. “You can’t learn love; you have to feel it. If you follow my guidance, you’ll know deep inside it’s not deceptive. Following your heart brings happiness, joy, and deep emotional fulfillment, making life more meaningful.”
“Guts, but what if he doesn’t love me?”
“There is nothing you can do about his feelings,” Guts said gently. “If you love him but he doesn’t love you back, it will break your heart. Are you ready to take this risk, my dear?”
So I asked my heart, “Are you ready to be broken?” but my heart remained silent.
Then I asked my brain, “Can a life without love still be happy?” but my brain gave no response.
“I don’t know what to do!” I cried in despair.

Then Guts continued, “If you listen to your brain, it’s a wise decision, but your heart will be empty. Stability and security come with this choice, but you might feel unfulfilled. If you listen to your heart, then you might get hurt. Love and passion bring joy but also vulnerability. But if you go with what I tell you, you’ll find a balance between emotion and logic, guiding you towards what feels fundamentally right.”
Guts went on to say, “Listen to your heart’s calling. Consulting your brain means marrying for reasons other than love. Ultimately, the decision is yours. Trust your intuition to balance both perspectives.”

I did not follow my guts. Now, I find myself at a crossroads, wondering if the path I chose was truly the one meant for me. The puzzle of love, logic, and instinct continues to shape my journey, a riddle we all face regardless of gender. We make mistakes, our choices sometimes lead to heartbreak, or things turn out differently than we expected. Yet, we search and follow love again. These internal battles and the lessons we learn from them make us more empathetic and wise. Ultimately, if you choose logic, you may find yourself longing for love, as I am now. When children come into the picture, it can be difficult to turn things around, but these experiences further enrich our understanding and meaning of love.

❤️

How to Determine if She’s Single: A Gentleman’s Guide

Imagine this: you’re at a cozy coffee shop, exchanging glances with an intriguing stranger. There is something about her—the way she smiles into her book or holds her mug— that quickens your pulse. Tempted to approach, you hesitate… There is one burning question holding you back: is she available?

Not long ago, a guy in a gym approached me with an intrusive yet direct question: “So, are you single?” Although I admired his boldness, I must admit that given our previously limited interaction, the abrupt bluntness of his question caught me off guard. At the same time, it made me wonder, “Could there have been a better, perhaps more accurate, way to approach this?” Indeed, there might be a more nuanced strategy worth considering. So, how should one investigate a girl’s relationship status in a respectful manner? Let’s delve into that.

First and foremost, asking such a personal question directly signals your interest in her. Is that truly your intention? While showing interest is perfectly fine, it’s often better to establish some level of acquaintance first. Avoid diving into personal questions too quickly; if she finds you approachable or attractive, you already have an advantage. She will be more likely to engage openly in conversation. However, if she perceives you as unappealing, if she’s shy, or simply lost in her thoughts—as I often am—a subtler approach is advisable. Start by establishing a basic connection; exchange a few sentences to ensure she doesn’t feel threatened or intimidated. If you immediately start with personal inquiries, she might think you are only after one thing. If a more meaningful relationship is what you’re after, taking the time to get to know each other—even through a brief conversation—can naturally lead to discovering shared interests and, perhaps, whether she is interested in you too.

Next, don’t assume she will truthfully answer your questions just because you asked sincerely—it’s always a gamble. Even if she is unattached, she might dodge the “are you single” question to maintain boundaries and, sadly, get rid of you! Don’t cut yourself off prematurely. Engage in a little chat, listen attentively, and observe subtle cues. Some women may casually mention their relationship status during discussions. Others like to boast about their boyfriends, signaling disinterest in other guys. Be attentive, and you might glean valuable insights about her life and preferences. Also, be cautious and don’t overwhelm her with too many personal questions. I hate that! It’s so invasive! I believe most girls would agree with me, so it’s wise to limit yourself to one or two questions per encounter.

Another scenario to consider: What if she’s in a “crappy” relationship? What if her saying, “I am not single,” doesn’t tell the whole story? She might be somewhat “tied” to someone but physically and emotionally disconnected, perhaps awaiting a way out. In that case, you, dear reader, might unwittingly become her ticket out! But be careful; you could end up being just a “rebound guy.”

Men often step back when they discover a woman is taken. I find it classy and respectful. However, let’s not assume all relationships are strong and fulfilling. Many women find themselves in relationships that aren’t harmful but are far from healthy or ideal so, it’s not always urgent to leave. See what I mean? It’s impossible to break something that’s already broken. Rather than disrupting, you could play a constructive role in a relationship that’s already unstable or dysfunctional.

Ultimately, if your feelings for a girl are genuine, why not pursue them? If your heart or gut, tells you there is something there, then why not explore it further? It may be worth the risk. Stop anticipating and chewing on your fingernails. Make a move! Girls appreciate confidence in a partner! I, for one, value assertiveness and support. Don’t give up too easily; let her get to know you. Show her your authentic self over time, and allow the connection to develop naturally. Don’t be embarrassed to show your vulnerability—it isn’t weakness; it’s a sign of humanity. Girls like to feel needed too, so let us take care of you. Let her see that you’re willing to invest in something meaningful.

I believe that a strong and healthy relationship can withstand any challenges. If a girl (or a guy for that matter) is truly committed, nothing can break that bond.

But, what if she is absolutely not interested? Then you thank her for her time and move on. Remember, you do not know her feelings and intentions until she clearly and unequivocally communicates them to you. Don’t make incorrect assumptions. Nonetheless, if she says “no,” you will still live, and you will be just fine.

In summary, if you feel compelled to ask about relationship status, do so with tact and respect for her boundaries. Rather than a blunt “Are you single?” consider a more delicate approach. You could express interest in getting to know her better and ask if she’s open to meeting up sometime. This approach not only allows for a more natural progression of the conversation but also demonstrates your genuine interest in her as a person, regardless of her relationship status.

Returning to my story, can you guess how I responded to the guy? If you get it right, I’ll buy you a coffee! 😉

Would you rather be Pretty or Ugly: Unveiling Society’s Dichotomy

Have you ever come across the saying, “Pretty girls have it easier in life”?

Pretty girls seem to breeze through life, dodging traffic tickets, catching the eyes of admirers, and effortlessly securing drinks at bars. But what about the flip side? The not-so-pretty girls face a different reality. They become targets for bullies, often finding themselves disliked or disregarded. Their situation worsens if they wear glasses, opt for no makeup, or dress in unstylish clothes. Some of them shrink into themselves in the presence of pretty girls, feeling intimidated and staying quiet, hoping to blend into the background, unnoticed.

However, there’s another stereotype lurking in the shadows: the notion that pretty girls lack brains. With this stereotype, pretty girls are unfairly deemed as shallow or unintelligent. If they have blonde hair, the stereotype exacerbates, branding them as brain-dead. At work, pretty girls find themselves constantly scrutinized, as if everyone expects them to slip up. The tiniest flaw is magnified, seized upon as an opportunity to label them.

Yet, if you want a date then ask “that pretty girl.” In this scenario, going out with an attractive girl scores big. Also, Instagram favors pretty girls over intellectuals; girls in bikinis (or nude) tend to have way more followers than accomplished female scientists.

Therefore, which girl has more opportunities? Who has a better chance to meet Mr. Right? Who has it easier?

As I see it, the average person has the sweet spot. A girl must not be too pretty or too ugly because being very pretty intimidates while being too ugly repels. If you fall on either side of these extremes, you are likely – screwed!

Similarly, who has it better in school settings: the genius or the struggling student? Exceptionally smart kids and kids who struggle don’t blend in with others, and both are ideal targets for bullies because they are either too smart or not smart enough to fit in. Indeed, no matter where you are, how you look, or what industry or environment you find yourself in… the average person will fit in best because they do not “stick out.” If you are better than others in any category, you are likely discriminated against because of your exceptional abilities. This hatred is motivated by jealousy and fear. If you, however, fall behind others, then you are considered inept, unsuitable, and incompatible.

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To thrive in today’s society, one cannot stand out in any category. If one falls on either side of the spectrum, whatever it is (smart or not, rich or poor, talented or not, hardworking or lazy, etc.), then he or she will face injustice.

Finally, would you rather be fit or fat? Who has it easier in life? Boy, I can tell you that I have seen it all! Ultimately, it boils down to feeling comfortable in your own skin, whether that means being fit or not. However, as a fitness advocate, I should encourage people to get fit. Stay on the fitter side but without falling into the extreme end of fitness, and here is why. The fitter I get, the fewer people talk to me in a gym. Fitter = less approachable. Perhaps, intimidation factors in? It sure can be difficult to make friends in a gym. Talking may be mistakenly perceived as “hitting” on others. It’s a fine line to walk, especially for single individuals who actually want to meet someone. On the other hand, having fewer acquaintances in a gym means less socializing and, therefore, less distraction and more time to work out. Bottomline: if you choose to get fit, or have a specific objective in mind, then surround yourself with people who support you and your goals.

So, the question lingers: who do you think has it easier in life? Pretty or ugly, or fit or fat?